Category Archives: Life

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Ever since I grew old enough not to be scared to death by it, I have been a big fan of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. And, while I recognize the necessity of having the ghosts of Christmas Present and Christmas Future, the Ghost of Christmas Past has always meant the most to me. Perhaps this is due to the fact that every year I myself am visited by this very ghost.

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The Ghost of Christmas Past, Magoo version.

The Ghost of Christmas Past that visits me does not take the form of a spirit, however, but rather takes the form of extraordinarily strong memories – memories that can brings lovely sounds to my ears, sweet smells to my nose, a poignant smile to my lips, and even tears to my eyes. I suppose I would have to say that this Ghost brings me the most physically tangible memories in my experience.

 

For some reason, this year the Ghost has been even more present than usual, and she (for I am certain that the Ghost is female) has walked me through some early Christmases from start to finish. As we all know that memories have a tendency to fade over time, I have decided to put pen to paper (so to speak) and document some of these memories, which are rooted in the rituals and traditions of my childhood.

Most of my Christmas memories seem to have a musical soundtrack; maybe this is part of the reason why they are so vivid. Both my parents were accomplished musicians; my dad played both piano and harpsichord, and my mom majored in music in college. My sister and my brother were both accomplished, serious singers; I was the slacker, having abandoned my musical talents in their early development stages to pursue athletics.

In the evenings leading to and following after Christmas, we would often sit in the living room by the tree and sing carols. Lisa had a lovely soprano voice, Mom was an alto, Dad was a bass, and Bobby and I would trade off on tenor and bass parts as the mood struck us. One of us would choose a carol, all would sing, then someone else would choose one. “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Angels We Have Heard On High” were my favorites. We would always end on Silent Night, to the lights of the Christmas tree and the flame in the fireplace, and would hum the last verse.

My mom and my brother were scrupulously traditional. My dad and I would sometimes advocate throwing in some variations, but we never got anywhere with that, and eventually gave up. Our traditions straddled the border between custom and ritual, and while we paid a price in spontaneity, we gained benefits in deeper meaning and emotion.

The festivities would start in earnest on Christmas Eve. That was when we would have our big Christmas dinner, rather than on Christmas day. My grandparents would always come over, and we would have a turkey dinner, finishing with a flaming plum pudding garnished with holly. After cleaning up we would head to my dad’s cousin’s house for their annual Christmas Eve party. As a kid, I was always resentful that we had to go to this, as it was definitely an adult party. But, it was somewhat of an obligation, and I do have very fond memories of everyone clustered around the piano singing carols.

Once we got back from the party, it was time to go into full-on Christmas mode. Ten o’clock at night, and SO MUCH to do! The main event was the hanging of the stockings. In my family, the stockings were NOT hung by the chimney with care, they were hung from the posts of the bed in the master bedroom. And, they were not pretty Christmas stockings, but were long nylon stockings, usually supplied by my grandmother I believe. We hung the stockings, and when we were little (I stopped being little by the time I was six) we were allowed to jump on my parent’s bed; the only night of the year we were allowed to do so, I can assure you! We would then nestle together on the bed and my mom would read “The Night Before Christmas” to us, followed by the Christmas story from a book called “The Christ Child”. We were then given strict instructions on when we could knock on their door in the morning (originally eight o’clock, eventually negotiated down to seven-thirty), and sent off to bed.

Of course, being kids, and being very excited, we could never sleep until the allotted hour. So, we would usually congregate in Bobby’s room to wait impatiently together, comparing notes as to what we had heard during the night and what we thought might be under the tree. Finally, the time would arrive, we would knock on the door, and we would be told “just a minute!” and asked whether we had brushed our teeth (to which we would invariably answer “yes”, of course!). FINALLY, the door would open, exposing to us a most surreal scene!

We would rush through the door headlong into the brightest light we would ever see, as my dad would take movies on his super-8. As our eyes adjusted, we were able to make out five amazingly overstuffed nylon stockings. We would all climb onto the bed, and my dad would hand our stockings one at a time. These stockings were filled to the brim, with a couple toys, some candy, some other sort of special snack (my favorite was smoked oysters that come in a can, for some reason), the upcoming year’s supply of underwear, a few pairs of socks, three or four paperbacks, and other sundries. There was always an orange in the bottom of the stocking.

After collecting our loot and taking it to our rooms, it was time to head downstairs. Not for presents, however! We were not allowed to see the tree yet, or any of the stuff underneath it. We would play with the toys and games we got in our stockings while my dad would prepare breakfast. We would finally sit down to a nice breakfast in the dining room, with fresh squeezed orange juice, which was always a special treat. After breakfast, we would attend to our kitchen chores, then head upstairs to get dressed (in “nice” clothes) and to clean our rooms (yes, this was required).

At this point, of course, we kids were ready to burst with impatience and anticipation. Dressed, teeth brushed, rooms cleaned, and much of the morning’s take of candy already consumed, we were ready the main event. At that point, we would get the OK that everything was ready, and we would rush downstairs to see the tree, surrounded with more presents than seemed possible, with Santa’s “main present” to each of us unwrapped under the tree. We would then sing “Joy to the World”, and get ready to open some presents!

Unlike many of my friends, opening presents was a very deliberate exercise. It was one present at a time, one person at a time, with Mom as chief choreographer. Presents for us kids were wrapped in coded wrapping paper so that she knew who was opening what, and when. Each present was followed by a personal “thank you” and hug and kiss from the recipient to the giver. As you might imagine, this took place over most of the morning, but as a kid I always viewed the way we did presents with pride. There was true appreciation, rather than simply an acquisitive rush that was over by breakfast time.

Just as we were running our of steam (and out of presents!), Grandma and Grandpa would arrive with one more present for each of us – and usually a pretty good one! That would usually cap things off for a while, as we would kick back, play with our new toys, try on new clothes, etc. Then it was off to the kitchen for turkey sandwiches and leftover desserts. Then, my grandparents would leave, and my parents would head off to their room for an afternoon nap – the only day of the year that this every happened. We kids never understood why they were so tired on Christmas day… but once I became a dad I understood!

WIN_20151225_11_55_03_ProLate in the afternoon, it was time to put the new loot down for awhile, and get ready for our Christmas visit with the Karlsons. Nip and Wes Karlson were some of my parents’ oldest friends, and we would get together with them every Christmas evening, alternating between their house and ours. This was another mostly-adult party, as the Karlson boys were a bit older than us, but we would bring a toy or two with us, and there was always great food like cheeseballs, various chips and dips, and plenty of candy. The grown-ups invariably had Tom and Jerry’s, while us kids had egg nog. The party would last until bedtime or after, bringing to a successful conclusion another Beekley Christmas.

So, there you have it, a Beekley childhood Christmas, in a thousand words or so. There is so much more, though, much of it is difficult to put into words. The awe and joy of finally seeing the presents under the tree. The gleam in my mom’s eye while singing carols by the tree, a look of love, pride, and pure joy. The great feeling that came with giving someone a gift that they really loved. The memories only become warmer, sweeter, and more visceral when viewed through the rosy lens of elapsed time.

My Favorite California Lake

I have always been a lake guy. Lots of people prefer the ocean, but I’ll take a nice mountain lake any day. It’s in my blood, I suspect…

Once I had kids, I decided that it was my moral obligation to share this love of lakes with my family, so I started looking at California maps to find an appropriate lake within striking distance. Of course, I was well aware of Lake Tahoe, and had been there many times. And Lake Tahoe is incredibly beautiful, and has lots of fun stuff to do. But, my goodness, Tahoe is crowded, incredibly expensive… and has casinos. I envisioned a lake that had neither crowds nor casinos.

I got a big map of Northern California, and started looking for my lake. My gaze settled on Lake Almanor, a good sized, heart-shaped lake well north of the Tahoe madness, near Lassen National Park. As summer aAlmanorpproached, I talked Karen and the kids into taking a camping trip up that direction. We had a really nice time, and Karen started to swing towards my lake-oriented point of view. Lake Almanor was beautiful, nice for swimming and boating, with deer, grebes, big beautiful pine trees, and osprey everywhere.

After a few more camping trips, we rented a house a couple times, and started thinking about maybe getting a lake place of our own. Our requirements for a lake house were pretty simple. It needed to have a really good view of the lake (on the shore was out of the question, way out of the price range!), had to be usable year-round, and had to have good access to fun things to do. Above all, it had to be an inviting place for the family to spend time together.

Calm lake and puffy clouds.

Calm lake and puffy clouds.

Bill and Ines Haas, previous owners of 806 Lassen View.

Bill and Ines Haas, previous owners of 806 Lassen View.

We looked around for a while, and actually ended up buying a place. It was a little more than we were looking for, to be honest, but the view was spectacular and the retired couple that were selling the place were so sweet that we simply couldn’t resist! So, in September of 2003 we became the proud owners of 806 Lassen View Drive.

We’ve had lots of great times there over the years, as you can see from the few pictures I have posted below. Sad to say, with the boys growing up, it has been a couple years now since we have been there as a family. However, Karen and I still make it there when we can; it is still a wonderful place to visit on a long weekend, and the house itself is filled with great memories!

Sunset on the lake.

Sunset on the lake.

Winter provides epic toboggan runs!

Winter provides epic toboggan runs!

Fishing expedition. Didn't catch anything!

Fishing expedition. Didn’t catch anything!

A forlorn herding dog watching part of his flock.

A forlorn herding dog watching part of his flock.

Winter snowshoe expedition.

Winter snowshoe expedition.

Hors doerves on the porch, a nightly institution at the lake.

Sunset dinner on the porch, a nightly institution at the lake.

Winter wonderland.

Winter wonderland.

A dog and his boy.

A dog and his boy.

Lake Almanor, from a kayak's point of view.

Lake Almanor, from a kayak’s point of view.

Twenty-five Years, 25 Pictures

Wow, the milestones are coming hot and heavy around here! Not much more than a week ago, Tyler left home and set out on his own. Now, today, May 27, is our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. And, I certainly feel like I should write something to celebrate such an occasion! But, what?

I decided that if a picture is worth a thousand words, then twenty-five pictures would be infinitely more interesting than 25,000 words of my amateur prose. So, here are twenty-five pictures, in rough chronological order, of our life together. I hope y’all enjoy them!

Karen and I got our start sailing together. Here we are setting sail in Santa Cruz in 1987.

Karen and I got our start sailing together. Here we are setting sail in Santa Cruz in 1987.

Barely 3 months into our relationship, we took a trip to Spain together. I figured it would either make us or break us. Guess which?!?

Barely 3 months into our relationship, we took a trip to Spain together. I figured it would either make us or break us. Guess which ended up happening?!?

Cooking together has always been a favorite pastime. Making something around 1989, or so

Cooking together has always been a favorite pastime. Making something in, let’s say, 1989

Dressed for our rehearsal dinner, in our more stylish days

Dressed for our rehearsal dinner, in our more stylish days

Two kids getting married, 1990

Two kids getting married, 1990

Enjoying some cake at the wedding

Enjoying some cake at the wedding

Enjoying each other's company, probably in 1989 or so

Enjoying each other’s company, probably in 1991 or so

Pre-kids, I think, Karen could probably tell by the hair style

Pre-kids, I think, Karen could probably tell by the hair style

New parents, September 1992

New parents, September 1992

Almost a year later, in summer of 1993

Almost a year later, in summer of 1993

Time flies, and all the photos are of the kids, not the parents. Here we are again, finally, in September 1996

Time flies, and all the photos are of the kids, not the parents. Here we are again, finally, in September 1996

Again, why take pictures of the parents when there are babies around? We finally got into the same photo again in 1999

Again, why take pictures of the parents when there are babies around? We finally got into the same photo again in 1999

Selecting a Christmas tree in 2001

Selecting a Christmas tree in 2001

Camping in 2000. Looks like no one slept too well the night before!

Camping in 2002. Looks like no one slept too well the night before!

Enjoying a baseball game with Brian, 2005

Enjoying a baseball game with Brian, 2005

Hot chocolate in the mountains, 2006

Hot chocolate in the mountains with Judy, Karen’s mom, 2006

Enjoying some hot chocolate, with Roscoe this time, while hunting for a Christmas tree to cut in 2007

Enjoying some hot chocolate, with Roscoe this time, while hunting for a Christmas tree to cut in 2007

Trying out my dad's kayak in our front yard, 2008

Trying out my dad’s kayak in our front yard, 2008

Christmas, 2008

Christmas, 2008

At a cafe in France, Europe trip, 2010

At a cafe in France, Europe trip, 2010

Visiting our friend Mitch in Texas, 2011

Visiting our friend Mitch in Texas, 2011

College hunting in Chicago with Brian, late 2012

College hunting in Chicago with Brian, late 2012

Clowning with Tyler, 2013

Clowning with Tyler, 2013

Enjoying dinner on a sailboat in New Zealand, 2014

Enjoying dinner on a sailboat in New Zealand, 2014

Thanksgiving in Virginia, 2014

Thanksgiving in Virginia, 2014

On the waterfront, after a Giants game

On the waterfront, after a Giants game

Every day I am profoundly thankful that I chose Karen, and that Karen chose me. It has been twenty-five years of many, many wonderful times, and a handful of sad ones. And, looking back, I’d have to say that there is really nothing I would change, other than taking a few more pictures with both of us in the frame!

Some Musing about Tyler’s Graduation

We hit a major milestone this weekend — Tyler received his master’s degree on Monday from Wake Forest. He has a few weeks off, enough time to take care of logistics and for a two week trip to Europe, then he will be starting his career with Aon Hewitt, in Charlotte, North Carolina. So, he has officially flown the coop! He is now a man finding his way in the world, and Karen and I can claim one less dependent, both legally and emotionally.

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A chip off the old block… only bigger and smarter. And substantially burlier…

In the days since his graduation, I have spent some time scratching my head a bit, trying to discover how I really feel about this momentous occurrence. I figured if I started writing stuff down, perhaps it would help crystallize my thinking. So, here’s what I came up with…

I guess the main thing I feel is a thrill of excitement for him, tinged perhaps with a tiny bit of jealousy. My first few years out of college were some of the most interesting, rewarding, challenging, and fun years of my life, and I earnestly hope that he has the same experience. And, I know my boy pretty well, and I think he has the right attitudes and inclinations to have a similar experience to the one I had. Although many of our friends think we’re nuts, Karen and I are thrilled that he is starting his career a couple thousand miles away. It will be his world, he will by necessity be completely independent, we will be visitors there, and in my mind that is a great way for it to be.

I also feel a lot of satisfaction about a couple jobs well done. Successfully obtaining a BS and an MA from Wake Forest is a job well done by Tyler. And, when I observe the young man that Tyler has become, I have to give Karen and myself a pat on the back as well. We took parenting very seriously and put a lot of effort into raising our boys, and are very satisfied with the results of our labor – at least the portion that we can claim responsibility for.

Back at the start of the journey...

Back at the start of the journey…

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “pride” as “A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” So, yes, I definitely feel proud of him for his achievement, and I trust that Tyler feels proud of himself, as well. I will have to say, though, that I am even more proud of him for his good decisions and solid values, and proud of the kind, intelligent, thoughtful, and personable adult man he has become.

Glimpses of the Past

1cropDuring a trip home for Christmas of 1987, my younger brother Bobby confided to me that he had tested positive for HIV. By the end of the following January he was struck with his first bout of pneumonia, and it was clear to him and to the rest of the family that he was indeed suffering from AIDS. Once he recovered from the pneumonia, he started on AZT, and his T-cell counts began to recover. As he began to regain his health, one of the first things he did was to start planning a trip to Europe, over the obvious concerns of the rest of us. He was determined, though, and would not be denied.

One of the places that Bobby was eager to visit was Prague, which was at that time behind the Iron Curtain in Czechoslovakia. Although to me this sounded very complicated and unlikely, Bobby was very resourceful about this sort of thing, and somehow got the necessary visas. My memory is hazy on the exact logistics, but I believe he somehow rented a car and visited on his own, rather than as part of any sort of group.

In any event, shortly after he entered Czechoslovakia, he discovered that he had no film for his camera. After some searching around Prague, he managed to secure a couple rolls of 35mm black-and-white film, which we nicknamed his “communist film”. Everything about the film was odd… the cans it came in, the way it fit into the camera, the color of the undeveloped film itself. When he got the pictures developed, the resulting prints had a very unique quality, looking almost painted.

As I was going through a box of old photos, I came across the negatives from the “communist film”. I took them to Rayko in San Francisco, with the idea of making some prints to hang in my office. The guys at Rayko scanned the negatives, marveled at how unusual they were, and made some prints. The results are pretty unique and kind of cool, so I thought I would post the scans here. Click on the pictures for a better view of the unique grain to the film. I hope you enjoy them!

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