A good friend of mine, Mike Clements, died suddenly last Wednesday. I was granted the privilege of saying some words in his honor at his memorial service on Sunday. As many of Mike’s friends did not know much about his Yellowbeard alter-ego, I thought I would publish my tribute here.

It’s tough to know where to start when talking about Mike, so I might as well start at the beginning. About nine years ago or so, my company, Corsair, had a problem on our hands. Lots of our customers spent a lot of time online talking about our products and our company, and it was clear that many of them needed help. And, occasionally, discussions would erupt into flame wars, where everything would get completely crazy and out of control.

I talked with my tech support manager about this, and asked him if he knew of anyone on the forums who might be able to help us. He gave me a few names, but told me that his recommendation would be one of our frequent forum visitors, some ex-cop from Georgia known as “specmike”.

At first, I’ll have to say that I was skeptical. But, I spent some time on our forum, checking this guy out to see what kind of stuff he was posting. And, I was really encouraged by what I saw. Really intelligent, informed responses, with a very calm communication style. I decided it was worth giving the guy a call and interviewing him.

Now, I don’t know if all y’all southerners know this, but us Yankees have some pretty well established stereotypes of southern law enforcement personnel. So, when I placed my call to specmike, I was fully expecting to hear Buford T Justice himself on the other end of the line. Instead, what I heard was this incredibly soft-spoken, ultra-polite, gentle-sounding character. I tried to picture him making an arrest, and all I could hear was, “Hey, y’all wouldn’t mind putting those hands up in the air, would y’all?”

Anyhow, the call went really well, and we both decided it was a match. He told me his “real” name was Mike Clements, and I told him he was hired. Back in those pre-facebook days, no one used their real name online, so I suggested to Mike that he pick his favorite pirate to use as a handle. Mike picked Yellowbeard, a Monty Python creation. And I think this perhaps gave me my first inkling about what sort of character we were bringing on board.

Yellowbeard had two jobs to do. The first was pretty simple – hang out on the forums, look for people who need help, and assist them. The second was to look for any discussions about Corsair that were turning into conflicts, and defuse the situation. My guess is, no one in this room would be surprised to hear that Mike was a natural in this new job. I think for him it was basically like police work for geeks. Mike clearly loved it, was a complete pro at it, and over time Yellowbeard became legendary. People would ask for him by name, and would beg him to get involved in any touchy issue.

I know you guys probably would take my word for this, but I want you to hear from just a small sample of some of the people Mike helped over the years, who are mourning his loss on the forums and on Facebook. So here we go…

“Corsair Mike has been a fixture in several places for a long time , one of the most helpful guys I’ve ever dealt with , the pc world will be a lesser place without him.”
   or…
“Count me as another who has been personally helped by Mike. He is a big part of why I go to corsair for my memory.”
   and…
“Mike was everywhere. He was at most of the computer shows, was at many gaming lan parties, on many forums. Not many people like him. He was one in a million.”
   also…
“The community, the industry and technology-friend is missing someone that moved mountains and achieved more than most will ever be able to do.”
    and finally…
“Very sad to hear this news…Mikey… hope you’re going off HUGE dirt kickers in BMX heaven brother. One of the nicest, coolest guys I’ve EVER met period.”

Dozens and dozens of tributes like this have come in, not only from America but from all five continents.

Mike joined Corsair following a very difficult and lengthy recovery from a neck injury that he incurred in his police work. It was a time of great uncertainty for him, and several times he told me very frankly and directly how grateful he was to Corsair for the element of stability and security that the company provided. I was always very moved by his honesty and humility, and even more moved by how he translated this sentiment into actions. There was no problem that I could throw his way that he wouldn’t beat his head against until everything was under control. And everyone at Corsair knew Mike as someone who would go the extra mile to help out in almost every situation. This, combined with his demeanor, his sense of humor, his expertise, and yes, his general goofiness, made him a very popular guy at Corsair. I know that all of us here would agree that Mike was a true character, a real one-of-a-kind guy. And, to Californians who don’t get much exposure to his brand of Georgia craziness, he was truly larger than life.

I worked directly with Mike for over eight years. During that time we spoke several times per week, and during this or that crisis it was many times per day. We didn’t just talk about work, as you might imagine. Very quickly, it became work, cars, bikes and biking, music, politics, insomnia, fatherhood, working out, or his latest insane injury. I felt a strong bond with Mike, and I am afraid that his loss leaves a wound that will take a long time to heal.

Like most of us, Mike grew up from childhood to become a responsible adult. But unlike most of us, Mike seems not to have grown out of his childhood. He never lost that joy and enthusiasm that you have when you are a kid. I mean, what sane 46-year-old adult rides a BMX bike? Especially mere weeks after blowing up his knee on that same BMX bike? Or puts on a wig and face paint to go to a party? Or finds himself a job that requires him to be an expert on computer games? Mike, that’s who. And we were all infused by this spirit of his, and are much the better for it.

Mike was a good teammate, a good friend, and a good man. It is really, really difficult for my brain to process the fact that he is gone. It just doesn’t seem possible. I loved Mike, and am proud that he was my friend. I know that his memory will always be with me, and I am looking forward to the day when the smiles that his memory invariably brings to my face will displace the ache in my heart that his loss has caused.

Mike leaves a strong legacy of the hundreds of others he helped both as a police officer and as Yellowbeard, as well as of the smiles he brought to the faces of the many people who loved him.

Cooking together has always been a big part of our family life. I won my wife’s interest (and hand, eventually!) by preparing an elaborate dinner for her early in our relationship. Since that magic dinner way back in 1988 (!), many of our most memorable evenings are those where we are cooking and eating a delicious meal with family and friends.

Early on in my cooking “career”, I stumbled on Jacques Pépin cooking shows on PBS. Jacques quickly became a staple for us, as we learned countless cooking techniques and recipes, and were captivated by his warm personality and genuine love of sharing good food. My sons would watch with me just to hear Jacques say “Happy Cooking” at the end of the show (and now they both speak French!). When I started off on some questionable shortcut in the kitchen, Karen or the kids would always admonish me with “What would Jacques do?”, which would invariably set me back on track.

Our Jacques Pepin library

Karen and I both loved Jacques’ philosophy about cooking – that is, that cooking is not about showing off, or competing, but rather it is about preparing and sharing something lovely with your family, friends, and guests. Over the years, we have watched a countless number of his shows, bought most of his cookbooks, and cooked dozens of his recipes. More than any other public figure, it somehow felt like Jacques was part of the family, my long-lost French TV uncle, I guess.

So, many months ago at a Make A Wish auction, when we saw an item which included a dinner for six with Jacques Pépin, hosted by Roland Passot at La Folie, we saw a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity which we could not pass up. We swallowed hard, and kept bidding until the dinner was ours.

Once the date and everything was confirmed, we had to assemble our party of six. As both Tyler and Brian were busy in school on the East Coast, they could not attend. In addition to Karen and myself, our party included the following: Phil, from Boston, my college lab partner, roommate in Colorado, and best man at my wedding. Mitch, from Colorado, a close friend for thirty years who dropped everything to come stay with Karen and the boys while I underwent neurosurgery. Andy, my business partner, boss, and friend for over twenty-five years. And, Patricia, head of the local Make A Wish chapter, who is one of the most passionate, dynamic, and caring people I have ever spent time with.

The package included transportation via limo, which arrived at about 3:00. The first stop of the evening was at KQED in San Francisco, where we got to hang out in the studio and watch a taping session for Jacques’ upcoming series. It was very cool; I have never been in a studio before, and it was amazing to see all the technology and technicians, and just how smoothly they work. In this particular session, Jacques was cooking first with his daughter Claudine, then with his fifth-grader granddaughter Shorey – and most cooking was done in a single take. Very impressive!

Jacques and Claudine on the set

Jacques, with wine in hand

Jacques and Shorey at the table

After the taping, we fought our way through beastly San Francisco traffic to La Folie. We finally arrived, and were shown to our table. Eleven place settings with menus, and only six of us. Hmmm…

Jacques arrived about ten minutes later – he had an even worse time with traffic than we did. And, accompanying Jacques was Claudine, her husband Rollie, Shorey, and Jean-Claude Szurdak, his friend for nearly sixty years, who has often cooked with him on the show. What an unexpected treat… and what an awesome crew to share a dinner with!

Karen, Patricia, myself, Phil, Roland, Jean Claude, Mitch, Jacques, Andy

And what a dinner it was. Roland and Jacques have been friends for many years, although Roland is many years younger. So, essentially we had one of the top French chefs in the country, cooking for essentially the dean of French chefs in America, and aiming to impress. And the dinner was impressive indeed, course after course of creatively conceived, impeccably prepared, stunningly presented, and unbelievably delicious dishes. Definitely the most incredible meal I have ever enjoyed.

Here is the menu for our dinner

Jacques and Jean Claude discuss rabbit loins as Mitch looks on

Lobster and ravioli, La Folie style

Andy, contemplating whether his entree is too pretty to eat

Getting ready to enjoy dessert

Jacques and Roland discuss the desserts, while Mitch looks on

In person, Jacques was very much the same as he appears on his shows: warm, gracious, humble, and witty. Although he is internationally both revered and famous (perhaps the Paul McCartney of chefs?), he was approachable and patient as we peppered him with questions. Claudine and her family, who had no idea they were having dinner with a bunch of strangers, were delightful as well. Finally, Jean Claude was an absolute kick, energetic and funny; click here for some background on Jean Claude and his friendship with Jacques.

All the French chefs, waiters, and sommeliers outside la Folie

Andy, Patricia, Phil, Roland, myself, and Mitch in the back, with Jean Claude, Karen, and Jacques in the front

We left La Folie around midnight, after lots of picture-taking and camaraderie, visits to the kitchen, etc. Certainly one of the most memorable meals I have had anytime, or anywhere. We gave Jacques and Jean Claude a ride back to their hotel in our limo, and shared a couple very amusing stories on selecting a duck, and on the proper use of transparent wrap when smoking a fish. On the ride home after such a magic evening, we were pinching ourselves to make sure it really happened!

Phil, Mitch, Andy, Jean Claude, and Jacques in the limo

Of course, the evening would not have happened without the huge generosity of Jacques and Roland. Jacques, who has to be the world’s busiest 79-year-old, spent over four hours with perfect strangers, gladly answering our innumerable questions and just, well, being Jacques. Roland donated his time, his kitchen, his restaurant, and his amazing food and wine. So, I encourage you to watch Jacques Pépin, Heart and Soul when it comes out next fall, and to eat at La Folie in San Francisco every chance you get!